I don’t care.
Somebody tipped me off to a MySpace page belonging to someone who used to work at the same company as me.
Nobody liked the roach-coach. So called because even when dealing with insects, she isn’t first class. Or even business class.
Long story involving a week-old sandwich in a locker.
Anywho, I digress.
Now, for my own personal entertainment, I will break down her entire MySpace entry, line for line, and give my comments.
“I am 5′3″ (almost), very pale skin, hazel eyes and not a skinny person.”
Ok, I won’t say anything about height. I have no problems with short people. I think they are cute. Plus they make better foot rests. The problem here is that she is referring to width. The very pale skin? Perhaps failed goth I’m thinking. Must have mistaken marinara sauce for blood and let me tell ya, she had to have left many a victim over the years. Hazel eyes? Meh. I have hazel eyes. No problems there. As for the not a skinny person, while that may be a true statment. It is not as flattering as she could pull of. Should say something along the lines of ’small for a yacht’.
I am a non-smoker and wish to meet the same.
She should, in fact, be searching for a smoker… of heroin…in mass quantities. THEN, when passed out and brain-dead, MAYBE she would have a chance. Although, to be fair, I think it is wrong to abuse passed out heroin junkies, especially with a crime so terrible that they would then make every attempt to overdose.
I like movies (action, sci-fi, fantasy), cooking, dining out, camping, fishing, hunting, cook-outs, music (no rap or jazz), reading, sitting by the fire, walking in the woods, etc.
I like movies = popcorn. Cooking = food. Dining out = food. Camping = S’mores. Fishing = Food. Hunting = food. Cook-outs = food. Music (no rap or jazz).. pretty much nothing that they wouldn’t play at a festival. After all, they ALWAYS have those big-ass turkey legs at festivals right? Reading = cookbooks. Sitting by the fire = trying to melt the ice cream enough so I can stick a spoon in it. Walking in the woods = trying to ambush little red riding hood, after all, wasn’t she carrying a basket of food to her grandmother’s house?
I like animals and have a few.
What can I say? They don’t judge her. Except the dog. That dirty bitch, always judging people and … wait… that’s right… get the peanut butter… get the peanut butter!
I am fairly easy to get along with just dont lie to me.
Nothing majorly wrong with this statement. She starts getting on your nerves, just walk a little faster and lose her. You lie to her, she eats you. Simple.
Im looking for more than a one-nighter so if that is all you want, please look elsewhere.
September 27th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments
