Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged
1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are
3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire
Hydrants and …
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8 . Full Personality Disorder — You Be tter Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m
Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells …
10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My
House
11. Senile Dementia — Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House
In My Slippers and Robe
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I
Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While
I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
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Schizophrenia
Means you never have to be alone