My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are

3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire
Hydrants and …

6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8 . Full Personality Disorder — You Be tter Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m
Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells …

10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My
House

11. Senile Dementia — Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House
In My Slippers and Robe

12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I
Burned Down the House

13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While
I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

December 12th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: 1 Comment

What passes as a decent random gift these days? I’m not the kind to go out and drop any serious money on a small token of affection mainly because I don’t have any money to drop. A small bottle of perfume, an online flower delivery service, some chocolate or candy?

What are some unusual gifts you have purchased for others? Have you gotten better results with traditional gifts or those unique gifts? Basically, I am just looking for a rundown of successes/failures when it comes to gift-giving. Save me the embarassment of getting that ‘Oh great… a Rambo plush doll… just what I always wanted’ response.
Share your thoughts with me.

December 11th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: 6 Comments

December 9th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments

Read it. Claim it. Love it.

Then spend it here.

December 6th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: 1 Comment

don’t click here

December 6th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: 3 Comments

A fellow blogger that I read on a fairly regularly basis put out this call for help in creating an information network which may one day lead his son to find him.

The site says more than I can, just go here http://forjono.com/ and help.

December 6th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments

stolen borrowed from here

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

December 4th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: 1 Comment

December 4th, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments

December 3rd, 2006
Categories: Nothing in particular . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments

Helga! Olga! Svetlana!

Come here my special little russian brides.

That’s right. Mail-order brides no longer exist. (e)Mail-order brides on the other hand… BOOMING market.

Apparently this site extolls the benefits of considering a russian bride. They are faithful, endearing, loving, sacrifice any and all career goals to be there for you, and many many more qualities. Much like a puppy. Except you can have sex with her. After all, she is your wife. For money. I assume. Didn’t see much on it beyond the press release.

Ever wanted a Russian bride? Look no further.

All your Russian brides are belong to us.

December 3rd, 2006
Categories: sponsored post . Author: Jeff . Comments: No Comments